Scars of Kismet
by Sakata Ri Houjun
Summary: Monsoon season is making Chichiri's departure from Mount Leikaku difficult, but is thr rain to blame for his growing depression, or something deeper within his heart? *yaoi* & *lemon* R&R for more!
1. Default Chapter

Scars of Kismet

Part 1

By Sakata Ri Houjun

Warning: Lemon-lime.

~************************~

Tasuki gripped the bed sheets as he perched over his friend, looking into Kouji's green eyes and losing himself into the familiarity of his embrace. A soft moan escaped his lips as their heated flesh met and Kouji thrust up to continue the pressure, a smirk crossing over his handsome features.

What's wrong, Gen-chan? Did ya miss this?

Tasuki found himself returning that smirk, leaning down a bit towards his friend. Shut-up, Kouji. You know very well that I've been spending the past two years on the road. With a monk. And he covered the remaining distance between them and claimed the older man's lips in a bruising kiss. But with his own words came images in his mind of those past two years, traveling with Chichiri.

For as long as he could remember, he had always been attracted to men. But he had continuously scoffed at the idea that love existed, at least for people like him and Kouji. To him, love was something meant more for people like Tamahome and Miaka. Then he met Chichiri and, of course, had been captivated by the older seishi, but had passed it off due to his tendencies. However, once he got to know him, something inside of the bandit realized that this had to be more than a mere desirability.

And so he spent two years traveling with the monk, trying to control his urges and yet completely unable to tear himself away from the intoxicating presence of his enigmatic friend. The worst part was that this was a man who would never return those feelings, let alone view him as anything other than a friend.

And even now as Tasuki was kissing his long-time friend and lover, in his mind he could envision all the times he had traveled with Chichiri, eating around a fire, bathing in a hot spring, helping out those in need, falling asleep beneath the stars. Moments that were caught in time where he would picture it just being the two of them, together. And what he was feeling towards Chichiri wasn't entirely sexual.

Tasuki pulled away then and covered up these conflicting thoughts with a forced smile. He reached down between their bodies and gently grasped Kouji's length. Kouji still managed to maintain his wry smile even as he thrust up into that hand.

He chuckled. I'm just surprised, that's all. I mean, I was expecting you to either have gone celibate or to have jumped Chichiri's bones, Gen-chan.

But his jest was short-lived as Kouji noticed a foreign emotion sliding behind his lover's eyes. 

Tasuki shook his head, attempting to clear his mind of all thoughts concerning Chichiri as he leaned down for another kiss. It had been a long time since he'd been with Kouji, his only lover to date. And even as he felt Kouji returning the kiss and felt his own body pulsate with need, his thoughts couldn't be focused on the task at hand. Instead, they remained on Chichiri, wondering about his dear friend. Worrying about him.

Monsoon season was coming and he knew that his friend had always been uneasy during this time of the year. The rains had already started pouring by the time they had arrived on Mount Leikaku, so he had shown Chichiri to a room where he could stay for the time being, knowing that it was dangerous to travel the mountain paths in foul conditions such as these.

And yet, he couldn't help but wonder what the monk's reaction would have been if he had suggested where he really wanted him to stay, if he had asked him to live in his room. Yeah right. As if Chichiri would ever accept. That thought would do best to remain yet another one of his fantasies, which he indulged in while alone late at night. 

But he wasn't alone now. 

Actually, he hadn't been for quite some time now, had he? Not with Chichiri putting up with him during their travels. But now that he was home again, what would become of the man he truly loved once the rains stopped falling?

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Just outside the Leikaku bandit stronghold, enshrouded in the darkness, stood a figure, his lone eye locked on the only lit window in the entire structure. Behind him, stretched a mountain path that led down from the summit of Mount Leikaku and away from this place, the very same path that he and Tasuki had arrived by earlier that same day. 

How easy would it be for him to just turn around now and leave, to return to his wanderings, to go back to his old way of life before becoming a Suzaku seishi? He was ready to go, had all his belongings with him, meager as they were. Unfortunately, he had been standing out here for over an hour in the rain, staring at that one window, and wondering why he couldn't just walk away.

For the past two years, he had grown used to Tasuki's presence by his side. At first he debated the reasons why his friend had stayed with him. They were complete opposites. The brash, younger man continuously cussing and complaining the whole time they traveled together. He drank, gambled, and often stole things when he thought the older seishi wasn't looking.

And yet, Chichiri had welcomed his fiery demeanor with a cheerful attitude and patience. In the beginning, he had convinced himself that they stuck together because they were the last. That was only part of the truth. Later on, he had lied to himself that he just didn't want to be alone anymore.

Finally, Tasuki had made mention that he wanted to go home and Chichiri had accompanied him. He thought to simply see his friend to his destination and then be on his way, but then the rains started and here he remained, rooted to the spot and staring at his friend's window, the light a beacon in the dark.

Chichiri closed his eye and sighed. Fine. I'll stay here for a couple of days, he whispered to no one. With that decided, he turned to the entrance of the main building and headed to the room that was given to him just as a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky.

Unfortunately, a couple of days stretched to a week, and then a month. And during that time, Chichiri's cheerful personality slowly deteriorated as his apprehension grew. Why did he remain here? There was no magical hold on him, no bindings that he could discern to this place or to Tasuki. Nothing was forcing him to stay except for the rain.

Yet here he was, unable to leave his friend's side. It puzzled and unnerved him. He always could find the answer to anything, but this? Why was he becoming more depressed and despondent as the days passed?

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Tasuki awoke one night, feeling hungry. He always managed to get cravings for food at the weirdest times. Normally, he would wander to the kitchen and grab a loaf of bread or a piece of fruit to assuage his hunger.

Tonight, however, when he got to the stronghold's kitchen, he was welcomed with the most unusual sight. Chichiri. Well, that wasn't so unusual, but the half-empty bottle in his hand was. 

He had noticed in the past month, as Chichiri continued to stay, that the monk seemed to get sadder somehow. His smile was all but gone, his laughter had died away to a hollow sound, and the mischievous spark in his eye had dulled. He had been afraid to ask, but was shocked nonetheless that it should have come to this.

And all he could do was stare at his friend whose head was against the table's surface. Tasuki felt a sharp pain inside him to see his friend in this state wondering why he hadn't done anything to help when he had first noticed the changes taking place.

Quietly, he sat down next to his friend at the table and placed a gentle hand on the older man's shoulder. Chichiri turned his head to look up at him from the table and an almost whimsical smile spread over his sake-flushed face.

Hey, Tas-kun, he mumbled, his speech slurring slightly. I couldn't sleep and was a little thirsty, no da. There's still some left in the bottle, if you want it, na no da. I don't think I could finish it off.

With that, he closed his eye, the smile slipping off his face as he sighed. Tasuki took the bottle from his hand with the intent to set it aside, but managed to drain the remaining alcohol since he was never one to let sake go to waste.

Is there something bothering you, Chiri? he finally intoned as he set the bottle down.

Chichiri opened up his eye and looked at him. Do you really want to know, no da?

It's why I'm here.

The monk smiled slightly before closing his eye. Nan demo nai.

But Tasuki knew that it wasn't nothing. However, he also knew that even if he probed his friend all night, he'd never get an answer from the stubborn man. For now, his main concern was that Chichiri shouldn't be left to fall asleep against the table in such a way. He needed to get the monk to his room.

So he slowly shook his friend, getting his attention. Chichiri cracked open his eye. I don't know where there's any more sake, Tas-kun, no da, the older man answered automatically.

Tasuki chuckled quietly to himself before taking the monk's hand and slinging his arm around his shoulder to lever the smaller man to his feet. C'mon, you need to sleep this off before you get a hangover.

Chichiri allowed the younger man to lead him into his room. He wasn't so drunk as to need assistance in walking, but relished in the fact that his friend cared about him even though he couldn't completely understand why he was also enjoying their closeness.

Once they reached his doorway, he separated himself from that warm embrace and tottered towards his bed. Not worrying about his clothing, he pulled back the covers and slumped on the soft cushions. Tasuki followed him a bit into his room, wanting to make certain that his friend would be okay.

Then Chichiri turned over and locked eyes with the young bandit, the flush from the alcohol still on his face. Tasuki took notice that the monk's eye was so sad and seemingly lost, not like the sorrow he had seen in regards to his past but something deeper and wounding. And a voice inside prompted him to try and comfort that pain, to bring back his smiling friend that he loved.

Without fully realizing his actions, he slowly crawled onto the bed. Chichiri's eye widened in confusion, unsure of what Tasuki was doing. He quickly shoved out a hand to stop Tasuki's advance. He misjudged the distance and his hand came to rest against the bandit's chest, right over his beating heart.

That pulse froze Chichiri in place, whatever words he might have formed dying on his parted lips as his body began to tingle at the intimate contact. The beat quickened as Tasuki pushed into his hand before covering it with his own. Then he brought the hand up to his face to slowly nuzzle the palm.

Chichiri found himself trembling as Tasuki crawled over him and straddled the older man's body. He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly over Chichiri's right cheek. The monk's eye closed and his breathing sped up at the sensations building within his body, sensations he was experiencing for the first time.

Tasuki trailed lips over to that open mouth and claimed it, thrusting his tongue inside and tasting the sake he had consumed as well as the surprise and apprehension. And as the kiss continued, his free hand slid down until it rested on the older man's thigh where he began to massage erotically. Then the redhead trailed fingertips up across the stomach to the chest, feeling the rapid rise and fall of his rib cage as Chichiri's breathing became ragged.

He slowly parted the folds of the older man's tunic, sliding his hand inside to touch the smooth skin that he had only fantasized of before. He broke the kiss as he slipped his other hand inside to run fingertips across hardening nipples and gauged Chichiri's reaction. But the monk had turned his head away once he was released from that searing kiss, his remaining eye hidden and his expression unreadable.

Unable to control himself, Tasuki leaned down to lap at the older seishi's exposed neck and then moved up to his earlobe. The next thing he was aware of was an intense pain centered on his groin where Chichiri had kneed him. He fell onto his side, curling up into a ball as Chichiri sat up and tugged on his tunic, straightening it out.

Through pain-hazed eyes, he watched as the older man stood and exited the room, closing the door behind him.


	2. 2

Scars of Kismet

Part 2

By Sakata Ri Houjun

Warning: Lemon-lime and it gets a little dark where Chiri's concerned

~*********************~

Kouji watched as his lover flopped down onto the bed and buried his face into the pillow. And he smirked. 

So, Gen-chan, he purred. What do ya want to do tonight?

I just want to sleep, Tasuki mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.

Sleep, huh? 

Tasuki turned his head to look up at his friend. I'm pretty fucking tired.

Sure, Gen-chan. But when Tasuki's expression did not change, he sobered. Something's bothering you, isn't it?

Tasuki did not answer but averted his eyes, afraid that his friend might find the truth hidden within. Kouji was silent as he thought it over and finally came to a conclusion. 

It's Chichiri, isn't it? Tasuki started at his question and the blue-haired bandit nodded as he realized he was right. I think I know what's going on.

Tasuki gulped. You do? Had his friend guessed that he had fallen in love with the other seishi?

Kouji nodded. Yep. You're worried about him because of how depressed he's gotten recently.

Tasuki relaxed a bit when he realized that Kouji hadn't figured out the truth and sighed in relief. Kouji, everybody's noticed his change in behavior. I just wish I knew what to do in order to make him happy again.

Do what ya do best, Genrou. Just be you. I mean, I laugh my ass off watching you do some of the stupid shit you do.

But it's not that easy, Kouji, Tasuki continued, remembering in vivid and painful detail how he had kissed his friend and the reaction he got because of it. I'm afraid I might do something I might regret. I know he's been avoiding me lately because I he trailed off and turned his face into the pillow again before he shoved his foot into his mouth.

Kouji blinked. What did you do, Genrou?

Nan demo nai, came the muffled reply.

I've known you to do some bone-headed shit, but you shouldn't worry too much about it. He placed on hand on Tasuki's bare shoulder and flipped the younger man over to stare into the surprised golden orbs. But I think it'll be okay in the end. And he pressed his mouth over Tasuki's, hoping to take his mind off of Chichiri, at least for tonight anyways.

Tasuki found himself suddenly unable to breathe as Kouji's hands trailed down his bare chest and stomach. His legs were slowly spread apart as the older bandit broke to kiss to lean down and nuzzle his stiffening member. But in his mind's eye, he still only saw Chichiri's sad expression he had worn last night in the kitchen. 

His protests gave way to a strangled moan. This wasn't right. Tasuki really didn't want to do this even though his body was urging him to continue. Something inside him was demanding that he stop this now before it got out of control.

With a shaking hand, he reached out and pushed Kouji away. He scooted back a bit out of the older bandit's range and met his friend's confused and hurt eyes.

Kouji, I I can't do this. Not tonight and I don't think I could keep doing this.

Kouji sat back on his heels and furrowed his brow. Did I do something wrong?

The flame-haired bandit placed his hands over his friend's. Iya. You've been my best friend, my brother, and my lover all this time. It's just that, some things just can't go back to the way they used to be. He looked away as tears were threatening to spill. I guess I had myself convinced that I could go back home, but ya never can, as the old saying goes. And I still love ya only This wouldn't be right.

Kouji nodded resolutely. I can't say that I hadn't noticed that you'd changed, Genrou. But you kept on acting like nothing was wrong so He gave a dry laugh.

It's more my fault for letting it continue like it did. No hard feelings, right? His tearful eyes met those of his friend's as a hopeful smile spread across his face.

Kouji leaned forward and stole a quick kiss. Well, I will miss you crying out underneath me night after night, but of course. I just want to know who the lucky guy is.

Tasuki jerked back and scratched his head. There is no one else. At least not one who loves me back, his mind added.

Kouji returned sardonically.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Chichiri couldn't take it anymore. Ever since yesterday when Tasuki has kissed him, touched him, alien sensations had been awakened in his body at the memories. He had not wanted to hurt his friend the way he did, but he had been scared of his own body and the way it had been hardening at another's touch. 

And yet, ever since then, he regretted reacting the way he had to the situation. A part of him wanted to apologize to Tasuki for hurting him, and another more primal part wanted to finish what was started.

Subconsciously, his right hand moved to rub lightly over his left arm as he thought. Then once he had noticed the action, he pushed back the sleeve and traced cool fingertips across the lacework of healed flesh. The scars were so faint, they were hardly visible, but he didn't need to see them to know that they were there.

Some of the wounds were almost as old as the one in his face. And each one made by his own hand whenever he felt the despair threatening to tug him under. The very first one had been created dangerously close to his wrist on the day following the flood. After that, he had lost count of how many times he had hurt himself. Physical pain somehow had allowed him to forget his turbulent emotions as he used to watch the blood pool on his arm in morbid fascination, letting his misery slowly abate.

He hadn't felt the need to hurt himself in such a long time, had he? Why was he suddenly feeling the urge now?

Maybe Tasuki had always lusted after him, but had never got the chance until last night and took advantage of his drunken state? And maybe he lusted for Tasuki as well? Well, maybe not Tasuki but more along the lines that he was curious about the act of sex itself? And perhaps that was the reason why they had stayed together for so long. It seemed like a plausible answer.

He had to find out for certain and he wasn't going to get a resolution brooding in his room. He had to confront Tasuki about the situation anyways and apologize. So he pulled his sleeve back into place and stood up to proceed to Tasuki's room. Once there, he pushed open the door without knocking.

Chichiri peered into the bandit's room. 

Tasuki looked up from where he was lying on his bed, head leaning back against his folded arms. The blankets were draped about his hips and a look of pleasant shock was on his openly expressive face. Chiri? What are you doing here?

Chichiri entered the room fully then and closed the door. We need to talk, Tasuki, he started, dropping all pretenses.

It was then that Kouji made his presence known from the far corner where he had been getting dressed. Then I guess I'd better leave.

The monk spun and faced the dark-haired bandit with a blushing face. Kouji-kun? I-I didn't know you were here. He looked down in awkwardness as images of why Tasuki was nude and Kouji was getting dressed flashed through his mind. And he was strangely hurt. Gomen nasai. I'll go now, he muttered.

As he turned to go, Kouji snagged his wrist, halting him in place. I was just on my way out the door, Chichiri.

Daijobou, Kouji-kun. I-I just came I just wanted to let Tasuki know I-I'm leaving and I wanted to say goodbye. 

Tasuki sat straight up in bed. What do ya mean by that, Chiri?

But Chichiri ignored the younger man's questions and yanked his hand free from Kouji's grip as he opened the door and left. Kouji stared after the monk's hasty departure and then looked over at his friend's disbelieving and shocked face. It was then that he put two and two together.

he said as he smiled. No one else, huh?

Tasuki scowled. It's not what you think, Kouji

The dark-haired bandit chuckled as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed and ruffled his friend's hair. I should have seen this coming. Although I'll admit that you've got excellent taste.

The red head grinned then, realizing that Kouji wasn't mad about his feelings for Chichiri. But then that smiled disappeared as Chichiri's words replayed themselves within his mind. He said he was leaving. He needed to do something to stop him, fast.


	3. 3

Scars of Kismet

Part 3

By Sakata Ri Houjun

Warning:  Major Lemon

~******************~

Once again he was sitting in his room, brooding.  He needed to stop doing that.  It wasn't getting him anywhere really.  He said he was leaving, right?  So he should be on his way out the door and away from Tasuki.

But he wasn't moving. 

When he saw Kouji, he had automatically answered without thinking, his ache at seeing the two together overriding his sensible self.  Maybe last night was only a perverse hoax meant to tease him into submitting to his friend's lust?  But even that thought didn't make it hurt any less.  

He pushed up his sleeve and he looked at the pale streaks crisscrossing his left forearm.  The desire was stronger than ever now.  Could he unsheathe his small dagger and drag the sharp blade across his skin again?  It would be so easy to lapse back into that old behavior and lose himself in the sting that had helped him to forget.  But he needed to stop contemplating this and just leave.

Chichiri got to his feet and walked out into the hallway only to find an interesting sight.  Tasuki.  Well, that wasn't so interesting, but the fact that he was sitting shirtless in the hallway with one knee drawn up to his chest and staring up at the ceiling was.  It was like he was waiting for something.  Or someone.

And Tasuki looked at that someone and smiled.  "Leaving so soon?  The rains still haven't let up."

Chichiri spared him but a glance, intending to walk by without saying a word.  Tasuki reached up and grabbed his wrist as he passed by and then stood up.  "Ya said you wanted to talk and I know it was about yesterday.  Then you say you're leaving and I know it's really because of me and what I did, isn't it?"

"Tasuki…  Let me go," the older man softly pleaded as he looked past his friend, unable to meet those golden eyes.

"Like hell, I will!"  Using the captured wrist as leverage, he pushed Chichiri up against the wall and crushed his lips in a bruising kiss.

The monk squeezed his eye shut, trying to ignore the pleasure building in his body at the feeling of Tasuki's lips coaxing his own to open and deepen the kiss.  The bandit's free hand rested lightly against his waist and then slid down to cup his ass.  It was then that he thrust slightly against Chichiri, pressing his erection against the older man's.  He held the monk captive between his hand and his groin, making certain that there was no mistaking his intentions, as he slowly drew away.

"Chiri…  We can't avoid this, not any more.  I want you.  It's as simple as that.  If you want me to stop…" He brought the hand he was holding by the wrist up to his face to nuzzle the palm gently.  "Just tell me to and I will.  But I don't want you to hate me.  And I don't want you to go."

Chichiri opened his eye at Tasuki's words and saw the sincerity deep within his gaze and understood something about himself, something that he could see reflected in Tasuki's eyes.  And he felt that part of himself, perhaps the same part that refused to let him leave this place, answering.

Before he could change his mind, he grabbed a hold of Tasuki's shirt and yanked him forward to place a light kiss on his lips.  Then he slowly unclasped his kesa and let it slide to the floor, followed by his beads while Tasuki watched, transfixed.

As Chichiri then moved to untie the belt holding his tunic closed, he met Tasuki's eyes.  "I'd be lying if I said that I wanted you to stop."  As the creamy fabric of his tunic slid down his shoulders, he reached out and took one of Tasuki's hands to place it over his heart.  "I don't know what this will mean for us, but…"

"Daijobou," Tasuki whispered.

Neither one knew how, but they had by some means ended up in Tasuki's room, and the bandit noticed something in his friend's eye by then, a little bit of apprehension and fear but a sort of acceptance and something a bit primal.  And he leaned forward to kiss him as he backed him up to his bed and leaned the older man down, a hand gently trailing along his thigh.

Chichiri shivered, timidly returning the kiss, his hands going up to seize at Tasuki's shoulders firmly.  Tasuki tilted his head to softly kiss his cheek before tracing the tip of his tongue along the ridges of his ear as his hand moved to stroke across his heaving chest.

The older man trembled as he felt Tasuki's hot breath fanning his face and his tongue against his skin.  The bandit's hand drifted to find a nipple, fingertips teasing lightly over it and gently squeezing and pulling.  Chichiri's head fell back as he gasped for breath.

The flame-haired man slipped the open tunic back from Chichiri's shoulders, leaning down to trail tender kisses across his neck and newly exposed shoulders, hands sliding down his arms as he slid the fabric off the smaller man's frame.  The azure-haired seishi let go of his lover's shoulders, moving his arms behind himself to aid in the removal of his tunic, trembling with each soft touch.

Tasuki drew his lips slowly and then finally captured a nipple, sucking softly and his arms gently enfolding around the older man's waist, one hand leisurely massaging along his bare back.  Chichiri gave a soft cry at the passion building within his body as one hand seized the fiery hair, his brow knitting as a sob escaped him.

The younger seishi pulled back to tease the nipple with his tongue, flicking rapidly back and forth over the responsive flesh and then blowing gently on the moist skin, sending a shock of cold over what was hot not a moment ago.  The older man groaned, his back arching and his breathing coming in short pants, as he tried to regain control over the wildly unpredictable sensations coursing through his body.

"T-Tasuki…"

The bandit withdrew slowly, the hand at his back sliding down over his hip to gently squeeze his upper thigh.  Chichiri swallowed earnestly and took a shuddering breath as he met his lover's gaze.

The younger man leaned down to kiss the monk's chest, lower this time, both hands moving to untie the string binding Chichiri's pants.  The older man writhed as they were pulled down, his eye wide, tense, but also showing trust and desire.  His mouth parted slightly as he panted for breath, shifting as he felt the cool air against his lower hot skin.

"O-onegai…  Tasuki…"

Tasuki looked up at him once again.   "Do you want me to stop?" he asked huskily.

Chichiri just breathed deeply, his chest rising and falling with the action, his gaze a little uneasy  "Iya."

Tasuki slowly trailed his finger up the underside of the older man's shaft.  Chichiri's head collapsed backwards onto the pillows, a loud cry wrenched from his lips and his body shuddering at the touch, hips instinctively jerking forwards, seeking after more of that phenomenal feeling.

"T-Tasuki…" he breathed, pleading for more.

Without answering, the bandit lowered his head taking just the tip of his shaft into his mouth, suckling delicately, tongue twirling languidly around the head.  The most severe reaction yet crashed through the older man's frame, both hands going to clutch fistfuls of the fiery hair, a long wail escaping him.  His hips twitched as he clenched his teeth, attempting to hold himself in check, trembling only slightly and panting hard.

The taller man shifted his position a bit, kneeling and hands on hips to hold him, eyes closed and suckling heavily on the older man's shaft.  Chichiri was outside speech, nearly beyond calling out, now gasping deeply for breath as his hips rocked up, wanting more of that glorious moist heat.

Chichiri tensed, groaning softly and then panting deeply, his body covered in a fine sheen of sweat.  Tasuki pulled back to drag his tongue up the base, teasing the sensitive bundle of nerves just beneath the head, his breath sending chills over the slick length.  This was contrasted suddenly by being taken into the heat of his mouth once more.

The monk trembled with excitement at the sensations washing over him, one right after another, his head falling to the side to press against the cool sheets, gasping for breath.  He made a low straining sound as his body quivered again.

Tasuki pulled back to focus at the head, tongue teasing around and exploring the little slit at the tip before bobbing his head faintly, lifting one hand to stroke along his shaft briefly, encouragingly.  The sensations kept piling up on the monk until he finally convulsed and, with a low wail, locked his hips as climax overtook him, spilling his seed.  His body fell back onto the bed and his breathing grew steady and more even as he unwound, his eye sliding closed with a sigh and his cerulean-hued bangs plastered to his forehead.

The younger man drew back once he had drank every drop and then placed an affectionate kiss to the spent member.  He pulled Chichiri close as he lay next to his friend and lover, gently stroking the hair from his face and kissing his forehead.  The monk opened his eye and noticed that Tasuki still was aroused and limply moved his hand to tug at the bandit's pants.  Tasuki noticed the action and moved away to strip off his remaining clothes before he drew the older man close again, naked bodies pressing against each other.

However, Chichiri had other plans as he pushed the younger man onto his back and eagerly swallowed his length.  Tasuki nearly choked the monk as he thrust upwards, but Chichiri's intent wasn't to mirror his lover's earlier actions.  Instead, he merely swirled his tongue around the length, coating it with his saliva before pulling away and straddling the young bandit leader.

Then before Tasuki could react, he used his weight to impale himself on the slick erection.  And younger seishi looked up through pleasure-hazed eyes as that tight heat of his lover enveloped him, a low moan escaping, and he watched as Chichiri's face went slack, tears sliding down his cheek.  The bandit rested one hand on Chichiri's hip while the other reached up to brush away those tears.  And the monk opened his eye at his touch, their gazes locking for a moment before he thrust his hips down further, easing more of Tasuki's length into him.

Tasuki closed his eyes as he pushed upwards until their hips met.  Chichiri arched his back, brow knitting in an expression of gratification, breathing Tasuki's name as his hands clutched fistfuls of the sheets.  The bandit's arms slid around his lover's waist, tugging him down.  They laid still like this for a few moments, taking pleasure in the sensation of being joined and complete, their two bodies melding and fitting together so perfectly as if they were created just for each other.

The younger man nuzzled slightly at Chichiri's neck, laying whisper soft kisses against the warm skin.  After the moment, before if could slide from its pleasant pause, Chichiri used his knees to raise himself up only to plunge back down again, starting an easy and slow rhythm that Tasuki met by thrusting his pelvis up, his hands straying to the monk's hips to assist with guiding him down.

A shudder of intoxicating bliss raced through his slender frame as Tasuki's grip on his hips tightened and their pace increased.  The younger man's breathing became heavier as he rocked his hips, pumping in and out of his lover's body, moaning.  Never before had he felt such a union both in body and in soul with anyone.  He had once sneered at the concept of being in love, but in this moment, he knew that with Chichiri…

He cried softly with happiness as he continued to make love to the man above him.  Soft sighs of ecstasy escaped Chichiri as he rocked down to meet each thrust, his knees squeezing gently at the younger man's waist, tensing only to urge faster, craving nothing more than for Tasuki to reach his end within him, finding an ultimate thrill in the simple act of giving pleasure to this fiery young man.

Tasuki groaned deeply in the back of his throat, panting hard and increasing the pace of his thrusts, starting to lose himself in the act of making love.  With a tremor all conscious thoughts were swept away as another passionate surge of bliss swept over him and he struggled for breath, increasing his tempo yet again.

Chichiri's breathing became difficult until he was reduced to softly gasping Tasuki's name as each inward caress set off another wave of ecstasy to render the poor monk vulnerable, dying of exhilaration and loving every moment of it.

Tasuki was panting hard; the whole world had vanished completely until nothing existed except the two of them together and the intense sensations coursing through his body.  He moved one hand to take a hold of his lover's length, stroking in time with his thrusts and panting out Chichiri's name with a ragged voice.

Chichiri struggled a bit to both push up into the hand and rock down into the incoming thrusts, frantic whimpers beginning in his throat as he swiftly drew nearer to his second climax.  Tasuki murmured softly, his body trembling before he plunged deeply into Chichiri, crying out the monk's name loudly as he orgasmed and emptied his essence into his lover, yet still stroking to bring Chichiri to fulfillment.

The older man moaned at the feeling of his lover filling him with his release and the continuous stroking, his expletive more muted than Tasuki's.  He then collapsed and rolled over to the side slightly so he didn't press all his weight down on top of Tasuki, the softened length slipping easily out of Chichiri's body with the action.  The bandit turned to snuggle against him, smiling softly at the older seishi and intertwining their fingers.  Tasuki pulled the man he loved close to softly nuzzle at his neck and cheek, feeling too drained to voice his emotions and his gratitude.  But that in no way deterred him from treasuring this moment and he kissed the smaller man softly.

Chichiri returned the embrace for a few minutes, watching as Tasuki closed his eyes and slipped off into sleep.  He then reached over with his free hand and caressed the bandit's peaceful face.  And in his turbulent mind he questioned his actions.

"What have I just done?" he whispered aloud.  "What have I just allowed myself to do?"

He continued to stare at Tasuki's face, as he had stared at his lighted window that first night, until he was certain that the younger man was truly asleep.  He then freed his hand and turned away from the younger man to whom he just made love to, feeling something inside him cry out in joy at what he had done while another part of him felt broken and lost.  And with the sound of the falling rain outside tempting him to sleep with its gentle rhythm, he found himself feeling powerless and isolated.


	4. 4

Scars of Kismet

Part 4

By Sakata Ri Houjun

~***************~

Tasuki woke alone.  At first he dared to think that what had happened last night was merely a dream but the obvious proof was hard to ignore.  No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it was just another one of his erotic fantasies, he could smell Chichiri on the sheets, the pillows, and his skin.

He had finally held the man he loved in his arms but he had also been deserted.  Did that mean that after what had happened, Chichiri still left?  But his friend had confessed to wanting this as much as he.  And he certainly did not ask to stop in any way.

A loud peal of thunder startled the bandit and he sat up.  One look out the window reminded him of the continuous storms that had besieged Mount Leikaku.  And he sat there watching the rain streak along the glass of the window as his mind filled with apprehension, wondering why Chichiri had left.

If in the end that his friend truly did not want him despite last night and was now gone…

But his thoughts were scattered when there came a sudden knock at the door.

"Knock knock.  Who's there?  It's Kouji.  Kouji who?  Why, it's only Genrou's best friend and past lover coming to check and see how he's doing.  Well then, Kouji, you're welcome to come in since Genrou's feeling a little lonely right now.  Thanks.  I don't mind if I do."

He opened the door on the last word and poked his head in.  Tasuki pulled his knees up to his chest, drawing the sheet up with the motion, and folded his arms on top.  He scowled darkly at the sudden intrusion and the teasing undertone in his friend's voice.  The redhead was not in the mood for Kouji's little games at this point.

But Kouji chose to ignore the look that Tasuki was giving him, sauntering over to the window and peering outside at the falling rain.  "Rough weather we're having, ne?"

"Kouji, what the fuck you want?"

However, Kouji continued as if Tasuki hadn't said a thing.  "Nope, not good weather at all.  Nobody's gonna get anywhere in this heavy shit."

"Kouji, if you're not going to answer me then get the fuck out.  I'm not in the mood."

"Looks like anyone inside this stronghold is gonna be stuck indoors for quite some time still."

"Kouji…  Nani?"  Tasuki's jaw hung open as his friend's words sunk in.

The older bandit turned around with a sly grin on his face.  "You heard me Gen-chan.  Nobody's leaving this place with as bad as things are today."  He moved over towards the bed and sat down.

"So, Chichiri hasn't left?"

"What do you think?" he returned as he poked Tasuki in the nose.  "I think he tried to at the ball crack of dawn, but that's when the rains started to get heavier.  Ya gotta love monsoon season."

"So, where is he now?" 

"In his room, I suppose.  Although I can't really tell since there isn't much activity going on inside."  He grinned.  "I beginning to think you wore him out."

Tasuki blushed as he hugged his knees tighter.  "Kouji…"

"Well, I think just about everyone in the building heard ya, as loud as you two were.  Although it was mostly you."

The younger bandit buried his face against his knees and made a helpless whimper of embarrassment.  Kouji patted his shoulder in reassurance.  "Even though I have a pretty good idea what transpired between you two, I don't know all the details. I think you might have a couple of days to get things set straight.  He's not going anywhere."

"Shut up, Kouji," came a muffled reply.  "I know."

The cobalt-haired man stood and walked over to the door.  "If you love him, Genrou, you need to patch things up."

Tasuki looked up and gave a small smile.  "Yeah, I know."

"And I suggest you start now."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Chichiri felt trapped.  He had risen before the sun had climbed in the east with the intent of leaving but again he was held captive by the never-ending storms.  Never did he hate the rain as he did today.  The monk was miserable as he replayed the prior evening's events over and over in his mind.

Last night, all he knew was that he had to leave Tasuki's room.  It was the only answer that could possibly quell his insecure heart.  So he had gathered his discarded clothing from the floor and his forgotten belongings that were left in the hallway, and retired to his room, alone.

And though he did not even spare a glance back at the young man to whom he had just made love to, his whole body had felt unnaturally cold and empty.  The thunder that rolled through the mountains outside echoed in his heart.  Even as he now sat on his bed, attempting to meditate and balance out his ki, Chichiri kept feeling a pull on his essence. And he caught himself standing to return to Tasuki's side.  What was happening to him?

A soft knocking on his door attracted his attention.  "Chiri?" came Tasuki's whispered voice, laced with fear and uncertainty.  Chichiri simply stared at the door and didn't answer.

The knock returned, louder this time.  "Chiri, are you in?"

Again, the monk did not reply.

"Chichiri?" he asked one more time without knocking, his voice growing weak with despair.  "If you're in, please answer me."

Tasuki was standing before Chichiri's door, staring at it silently and wondering if his breath was wasted on empty air.  Even though he had not received a reaction to his inquiry, somehow he knew that his friend was in the room.  

He should have known that what had happened last night would have scared his friend.  He did take notice, after all, of new emotions raging within the monk's gaze as they made love.  Chichiri had stepped on new ground and it had intimidated him. 

And what was worse was that he never did find out what had been bothering his friend in all the time since staying here in the stronghold.  All he managed to do was perhaps confuse his friend and make the situation more difficult.

But, as Kouji had pointed out, Chichiri wasn't going anywhere and now was as good a time as any to try and handle the situation.

Tasuki loved Chichiri and he wanted him to stay.  But he couldn't even begin to find the words to…what?  Apologize?  To laugh off the whole scenario?  What?

He had given his friend the choice last night all the while making it clear that regardless of whatever the older man chose he didn't want him to leave or to hate him.  And within his friend's eye, he had seen the longing and need that was as deep as his own as well as the fear.

Who knew what had truly been going through Chichiri's mind last night?

But Tasuki couldn't put it off, not anymore.  He spun around and leaned his back against the hard grain of the door, feeling the tears build up in his eyes at the fact that Chichiri was apparently going to ignore him.

"Chichiri, I…  Last night, I…  When you told me that you were leaving, I didn't want you to…  I didn't want you to go.  I waited outside and I wanted to stop you."  The young bandit hung his head as his voice lowered to a whisper.  "It felt like you were pulling away from me and I didn't want to let you go.  I…"

Tasuki felt his legs buckle and he slowly slid down to the floor.  His eyes closed as tears began to spill.

"I guess you could say that I've…I've always been attracted to you.  Ever since you first took off your mask for me that night in Kutou, I… I've always wanted you.  I never did want you to know of my tendencies though, but Kouji had screwed that up during the war when he kissed me in front of you."

The redhead laughed dryly as he recalled how when Kouji and the other bandits had saved them from Nakago.  After his best friend had pulled him into a dance and he had informed the bandits of their dire situation, Kouji had kissed him quickly to cheer him up.  And Chichiri had witnessed the whole thing.

"But you didn't judge me for being that way," Tasuki continued.  "I thought it was because you were a monk or that you knew that it wasn't the time to sling insults what with a war going on and all.  But once it was over, and you and I were the last, you offered to let me travel with you.  I was so happy because it seemed that you accepted me.  However, you never did bring up my preferences again.

"It didn't matter though because I was so content.  I only wanted to be with you.  Not like last night, but…just being in your presence was enough for me.  I…" he faltered as a shudder overtook his frame and he sniffed.

Chichiri slowly approached the doorway and he stared at the carved pine as he placed a hand on the wood.  The monk hung his head as he listened to his friend pour out his heart to him.  

"Had I known that this would have happened…  I would have let you go a long time ago if I knew that you were going to shut me out like this.  I wouldn't…  I don't know why you tolerated me for so long."  He laughed again as he scrubbed his eyes with his sleeve.

"Since you've stayed here, you've only gotten sadder.  I…  I only wanted to make you happy again.  But so much for that, huh?  I mean, look where my 'good intentions' got me last time, nearly raping Miaka and attempting to kill myself.  Except this time, I ain't possessed by some demon only speaking from my heart.  And it hurts."  Tasuki's voice wavered as he continued to speak.

Chichiri was now kneeling before the door, head still hung and a painful tightness about his chest.  He pressed his forehead against the unyielding pine, feeling the grain bite into his skin.  He didn't want to hurt his friend, not this way.  But what could he do to alleviate this?

"It hurts that you're shutting me out like this and ignoring me, but I can't really blame you.  And I don't have any regrets.  I…don't.   I…  If I had a chance to do this all over again, I'd do exactly what I did.  And even if it means that you hate me forever…  Or if you think that I took advantage of you in any way…  I…"

He paused and took in a deep breath.  "I wouldn't change a damn thing about last night.  I still would have kissed you, touched you, and made love to you….  And you can't stop me from saying it.

"I would promise the stars themselves if it meant that you would stay, if it meant that you would smile at me.  And even if you can't return my feelings at least let me know that you don't hate me for what I did."

Tasuki buried his face in his hands.  "Gods, Chichiri…" he sobbed.

Chichiri felt his own eye tear up as he closed it tightly.  Every word that Tasuki had spoke stabbed into his heart like a knife, ripping open deep wounds that continued to bleed.  Tasuki's sobs were like salt being rubbed into those wounds and the older man's tears fell freely as he listened.

"Tasuki…" he breathed.  

But the bandit did not hear him.  Instead, he looked up as he sniffed again.  "I know you're not listening.  I'm just making an ass of myself in front of your door.  I guess it is true that people do crazy shit when they're in love."

Chichiri's eye snapped open.  Tasuki didn't just merely lust after him, but loved him?  So, every word that was spoken last night, every gesture made and heartfelt caress, had been genuine?  It wasn't some mere primal instinct or just that he was attracted to him? Throughout all their travels to last night, Tasuki had loved him?   And the impassioned speech that Tasuki had spoken suddenly took on a deeper meaning.

It was as if the monk's sight had suddenly cleared up, as if he could see with unclouded vision to a profound understanding.  And that was the answer.  That was what he was missing.

Tasuki had to have been a fool to want to fall in love with him.  And he knew that he was an even greater fool for ignoring that fact.  And he smiled bitterly, realizing that he was undeserving of any such emotion that Tasuki might feel towards him.

"Tasuki…" he said again, even louder than before, but there was no answer.  Chichiri stood and opened the door only to find the hallway empty as if the voice he had heard speaking the sorrowful words was nothing more than a phantom of his own despair.

It was just as well.  Tasuki deserved so much better than he.  Kouji or someone else, but not a weary and shattered man such as himself.  The younger seishi didn't deserve the pain he was responsible for causing him. 

And he closed his door, deciding it would be best for him to depart regardless of the weather and leave his friend behind.  Forever.


	5. 5

Scars of Kismet

Part 5

By Sakata Ri Houjun

~****************~

Kouji wiped away his tears as he leaned against a wall father down the passageway.  "I must have been blind to have not seen this happening."

Ever since his best friend had returned to the stronghold, he had noticed little things about Tasuki that made him different from the Genrou he knew.  And yet, Tasuki had acted as if nothing was wrong.  So, Kouji had assumed that things would eventually return to normal.  But there was always that unfamiliar emotion sliding behind his friend's eyes every time he got intimate with him.

"I must have been a fucking baka to not have noticed this."  He smiled through his tears.

After informing Tasuki that Chichiri was stranded for the time being, he had followed his friend silently to the monk's door and hid.  He had wondered how this was going to play out, speculating if his friend's emotions were well placed or if it were a mere attraction, no different than the relationship he had shared with Genrou.

But listening to his friend's emotional speech and him crying brokenly like he did…

He had never heard Tasuki cry that way before, never knew such words even existed inside the younger man's heart.  And he had shed tears with him, wishing that he could run out there and comfort his friend.  But he wasn't what Tasuki needed.  It was Chichiri's embrace that would soothe his heart and warm reassurances that would bring a smile to his face.

But the monk had stayed quiet behind his shut door, seeming to ignore Tasuki as he had laid his heart bare. Finally, after his sobbing had subsided, Tasuki stood and left.  Kouji thought for a moment that the older man was cold and cruel to simply disregard him like that.  But then he heard the door open and Kouji peaked around the corner to watch as Chichiri looked up and down the hallway.

And he noticed the tears on his cheeks.  So, the monk wasn't so callous as to not be affected by Tasuki's words.  But after a period, Chichiri retreated back into the seclusion of his room and Kouji made a discovery about himself.  He had loved Genrou and always would, and more than that he would be willing to do anything to ensure his best friend's happiness even if he was no longer Genrou.

Without any other belief in his mind, Kouji charged from the shadowed hallway and straight up to Chichiri's door.  Lacking in his usual pretense, he busted the door open, not caring if he broke the door or if Chichiri was in the way.

The cerulean-haired seishi stood in shock at the abrupt entrance of the younger man and the evident anger in his green eyes.  And he clutched the shimmering blue cloth of his kesa as Kouji advanced on him.  Once he was toe to toe with the older man, Kouji grabbed him by the shoulders in a fierce grip and shook him roughly.

"K-Kouji-kun?" Chichiri inquired with fear etched into his voice

The bandit met that fearful look and grit his teeth as he remembered Tasuki's words.  "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"K-Kouji?"

"How can you sit in here and ignore Tasuki like that?  I thought you were supposed to be the compassionate one!  You damn selfish bastard!  Are you so fucking insensitive?  Do you not have a damn heart at all?"  The cobalt-haired bandit shoved the monk away in detestation.

Chichiri squeezed his eye shut and bowed his head in shame as he wrapped his arms around himself.  "I suppose I don't then if that's how you view me."

Kouji narrowed his eyes as the monk sank onto the covers of his bed.  "I thought as much," he muttered angrily as he crossed his arms.  "Gen-chan deserves better than the likes of you."

"I agree, Kouji," Chichiri whispered in defeat as more tears slid down his cheeks.  "I'm not worthy of him."

"Unfortunately, though, it's Tasuki that loves you and he can't change that.  None of us can."  The bandit's voice took on a softer tone as he sighed.  "You can never chose who you love."

The older man looked up at his words.  "But I'm incapable of love, Kouji.  I think I only have a perverted lust to offer him at best.  I may be what he thinks he wants, but not what he needs."

Kouji shook his head.  "You're exactly what he needs and if you feel that strongly about yourself, then perhaps what you feel towards him runs deeper than you realize."

Chichiri averted his gaze then as he pondered Kouji's statement.  "I don't know what to tell you, Kouji."

"It's not what you can tell me, but what you can tell Tasuki."

"And what am I supposed to tell him?"

"How about the god-damn truth?" he snapped.

"And what would that be?"

"Well, for starters, you could tell him how you feel!" Kouji shouted in frustration. 

"I can't," Chichiri whispered.

"How so?"

"I don't know how I feel.  How can you tell someone how you feel if…"

"Tasuki loves you," Kouji intoned flatly after a slight pause.  "How he can love someone like you, I don't know.  Ever since he got back, I've been listening to him go on and on about how wonderful a friend you are."  He laughed harshly and shook his head.  "I wonder who it really was that he was talking about since it certainly wasn't you."

Kouji turned to leave, his anger vented momentarily but his mind nowhere at ease.  But there wasn't anything else he could do except walk away before he killed the monk.  Not that it would be such a bad idea, but Tasuki would have his balls on a plate.

"Kouji-kun…"

The young bandit turned upon hearing his name and perceived that the monk's eye was shimmering with so much guilt that he regretted reacting the way he did for a moment.

"Does Tasuki truly love me?"

"You heard it yourself, didn't ya?  I haven't seen him act this way before.  You're damn lucky to have his affection."

Chichiri closed his eye and his body visibly relaxed.  "Arigatou," he murmured as Kouji left, closing the door behind him.

And then the monk began to mull over his thoughts.  The images of last night swirled around with both Tasuki and Kouji's words.  And added to that was everything that had happened before then to bring him to this moment.  And he knew that it had been wrong to ignore Tasuki, to push the younger man away after all that had happened.

Chichiri rolled up his sleeve to gaze at his scars once again as he pondered these things.  And then a new thought occurred to him as he tried to recall the last time he had cut himself.  It had been right before meeting the Suzaku no Miko and the other seishi, hadn't it?  He had been so preoccupied at the time with his duty that he didn't have time to really dwell on his loneliness and pain.  But after that…?

His duty had long been finished and he had suffered even more loss because of it.  Yet, why hadn't he regressed to that particular habit?  Because he wasn't truly alone.  He had Tasuki to travel with him, his warm presence a refreshing change that allowed the monk to forget the solitude he had grown accustomed to.  And he had enjoyed every moment of their time together even though it wasn't always peaceful.

And he realized he never did see the most obvious fact that had been raging within his heart all this time.  Why had he followed Tasuki here?  Why had he tolerated the bandit's presence with his bad habits and annoying quirks with a patience he had never known before?  Why had he remained here even after proclaiming on several occasions that he was leaving?

The answer was simple.  Somewhere along the way, since meeting Tasuki, he, himself, had fallen hard for the younger seishi.  An emotion that went beyond the mere curiosity of sex or relief for the pang of loneliness that had caused him to hurt himself in the past was what had him connected so deeply to Tasuki.  

And he had lost so much belief in himself that he hadn't dared open himself up to the possibility of actually falling in love again.  After losing his beloved long ago, he had given up on love, closed himself off to the emotion.  But Tasuki had reawakened it within himself even though he hadn't been aware of it all this time.  And he had forgotten his pain…until now.

The true source of his misery had lain not within the walls of the stronghold, but beyond it.  The possibility of leaving this place, of losing Tasuki, became a heavy burden on his heart that was painful to bear.  He now knew that if he had separated himself from Tasuki like he had intended, then he would have certainly regressed to his old way of life.  He would have eventually grown bitter and resentful in his loneliness and perhaps would have ended up killing himself, unable to stand the suffering.  And perhaps he would still have ended up that way if it hadn't been for the young redhead.

Tasuki loved him.  Him.  A monk with a broken past and no stability, a wanderer who had nothing to offer him except his scarred heart.  And he had already given it away to the younger seishi, hadn't he?  He didn't know when he had, but it was true.  And Tasuki had presented his own, accepting and wanting him as he was.

And Chichiri felt the muscles of his face pulling into a gentle and genuine smile.  The first he'd had on his face in a long time.


	6. 6

Scars of Kismet

Part 6

By Sakata Ri Houjun

Warning:  Major lemon!

~*****************~

It was a while before Tasuki made it back to his room, spending the past few hours just wandering around the stronghold.  He dazedly remembered running into several of his men but he couldn't remember if he had acknowledged them or not.  For the most part, he was just trying to come to terms with what had just happened.

He glanced out a window, attempting to figure out what time it was, but the rain wasn't helping.  It certainly felt like it might be around noon but he didn't really care.  At the moment he felt so light-headed and drained.  And he was tired.  He needed to just lie down and rest.

The redhead entered his room, finding it shadowed and dark because of the lack of daylight outside.  He did not take notice of the figure seated in his chair, watching him intently with one lone eye.  Tasuki instead wandered over to his dresser and started pulling off his jewelry in a lethargic manner, determined to sleep off his worn out spirit.

Chichiri observed his friend's movements with a knowing smile.  The bandit was so distracted that he still hadn't noticed his presence.  At least, not until the lifted a hand and pointed at a nearby candle.

Tasuki jumped at the sudden change in the atmosphere and glanced up in the mirror to see his friend seated behind him.  His brow furrowed as he mulled over the possibility that this was nothing more than his imagination working overtime.  It had to be for the Chichiri he knew had never smiled at him like that.

"Konban wa, no da," the reflection seemed to murmur, except the voice was coming from behind him. 

Tasuki smiled weakly.  "Is it the afternoon already?"

The image in the mirror shifted his gaze to the window and shrugged before locking eyes with the bandit again.  A slight pause stretched out between them before Chichiri sighed.  "I heard what you said."

Tasuki quickly looked down at his scattered beads on the dresser top.  "Oh…" He felt strangely embarrassed for pouring out his heart.

The older seishi stood and moved closer to the redhead.  He placed both his hands on the younger man's shoulders gently.  "I came to tell you that I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize."

"Yes, I do," he said as he spun the bandit around to face him.  When Tasuki still refused to look up, Chichiri cupped his face and tilted his head up.

The bandit opened his mouth to protest, to voice his confusion.  However, the cerulean-haired seishi leaned forward and pressed his lips to those of his love, tongue seeking purchase as the kiss grew deeper.  Tasuki's eyes widened at this action, but then slid closed as he fairly purred into the kiss, both arms encircling Chichiri's waist tightly.  Then he slid his own tongue into the older man's mouth and they began to struggle for control.  The monk moaned into the kiss, his hands caressing Tasuki's cheeks as their tongues entwined.

Then Chichiri broke the kiss, his breathing heavy and slightly hesitant since he wasn't used to such intense emotions taking control.   The bandit brought a shaking hand up to his lips only to feel them throbbing from the fierceness of the kiss.  Then, unable to contain himself, he reached out and grabbed a hold of the older man's shirt to pull him in to return that kiss with interest.

Tasuki ran his lips along Chichiri's cheeks softly and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "Chichiri, ai shiteru."

The monk just stood there while a gentle smile crossed over his face.  When he did not otherwise respond, Tasuki drew away, unsure of what to do now.  He waited for some movement or indication from the other man.  Chichiri glanced down at the floor in ineptness under the scrutiny of Tasuki's emotional golden eyes, his hands clenching in the folds of his kesa and biting his lip.

The younger man then wondered if they were anywhere closer to a solution than, turning to head towards the door in hopes of escaping this situation before it got out of hand again.  But just as his hand was on the handle, a pair of strong, slender arms wrapped around his waist and he was pulled back against the familiar body of his love.

"Chichiri?"

"Tasuki, I…  I…  I want you, no da," he murmured against the younger man's ear as his hands slipped down the front of Tasuki's pants, gently massaging his thighs and brushing repeatedly against his growing erection.

I-I do too, C-Chichiri," Tasuki stammered out as he bit back the urge to moan.  He could feel the proof of just how much the older man wanted him pressing against the tender part of his rear.  Instinctively he pushed back against that steely pressure and Chichiri moaned in response, lips brushing against his neck.

"But this shouldn't be the way we go about things, should it?" the bandit continued as he clenched his hands by his sides.

Chichiri chuckled.  "Baka, no da.  This is the best way to handle it."  And he lightly grasped the bandit's length in his hands and teasingly stroked it with tender caresses that had Tasuki throwing his head back in pleasure.

"B-but…" He trailed off as Chichiri's hands left his erection and slowly slid up his chest in a sensual and erotic way, head nestling against the crook of his neck.  "Chiri…"

"Tasuki," he answered huskily.  "Ai shiteru.  I always have."

The bandit pulled out of Chichiri's embrace only to turn around and wrap his own arms about his love in an affectionate and tender motion.  He had resigned himself to never hear those words coming from Chichiri, to never have his love returned.  But with that simple phrase, Tasuki could feel his eyes misting over and his grip tightened as though the monk would fade from existence should he let go.

Chichiri felt the younger man shudder in his arms and he ran his fingers through that unruly mane of fire as he listened to Tasuki cry with joy.  He understood perfectly what his love was feeling because he could feel it too.  Overwhelming relief of laying the truth bare and the understanding that they weren't alone and never had been.

Then Chichiri pulled away, smiling faintly, a soft affectionate expression unlike anything else Tasuki had ever seen on the older man's face.  He lifted his hand to gently brush away the silken flame that had fallen into younger man's eyes.

"It's funny, no da.  Kouji nearly had to beat me in order for me to realize this."  He leaned in and kissed Tasuki's bottom lip tenderly. 

Tasuki chuckled roughly.  "I think had we given it more time, it would have come on its own.  You always were the one who understood me best and accepted me as I was."  He then nuzzled his lover back, happy to be back in Chichiri's arms once more, his breath warm and soft against Chichiri's lips.  "Ai shiteru."

Chichiri smiled, aware that it was the expression of an infatuated idiot, but didn't care because with the man in front of him that's what he was.   "Zutto, no da.  Ai shiteru."

Tasuki nearly cut off his last word as he kissed him deeply, one hand tangling in the hair bound at the nape of his neck.  Chichiri jerked, surprised at the sudden movement but just as quickly relaxed, arms moving to link around his waist, holding him close and opening his mouth to invite Tasuki to explore, a soft moan escaping him.

Tasuki gently slipped his tongue into his mouth, skimming the roof and allowing the tip to explore.  He gently clutched the back of his shirt as he pressed up against him.   The older man made soft sounds of pleasure and happiness, hands running up and down his back slowly, gently.

Chichiri tugged the younger man towards the bed, the two never breaking their lip lock as they fell back onto the covers of the bandit's bed.  Chichiri was half on top of Tasuki, his fingers stroking through the fiery hair as he drew away only to recapture his mouth, firm and demanding.  Tasuki returned the kiss equally, pressing his lips tightly against Chichiri's.

The redhead slid his hands around to rest against his chest, unclasping the kesa and then sliding up and down overtop the fabric of his tunic, palms brushing against the body that was hidden underneath.  A soft moan escaped Chichiri, hands clenched in the younger man's hair to get a good grip and hold his head still as his own tongue overpowered his lover's, spearing repeatedly into his mouth.

Tasuki groaned softly in response to Chichiri's more aggressive behavior.   He continued to kiss him deeply, barely seeming to break for breaths as he caressed Chichiri's body, sliding one hand up to tug at the catches of his shirt, which fell open easily.  And he slipped one hand inside, rubbing the soft skin along his stomach and chest.   Chichiri arched down towards him, whimpering weakly and wanting more. He broke the kiss to tilt his head back, mouth opened partly and eye closed.

Tasuki's hands traveled over the warm flesh, sliding one behind and underneath Chichiri's shirt.  He sat up a bit as he then brought both hands to the front, splaying them wide and opening Chichiri's shirt fully only to then take a moment to let his eyes wander lustily over the slender body.

The monk sat back on Tasuki's thighs and took a deep breath before lowering himself down again, kissing the bandit's lips while his hands moved to strip away Tasuki's shirt and explore his exposed body, palms brushing over his nipples.  Tasuki gasped sharply into the kiss as the monk's hands pinched his nipples, suckling softly at Chichiri's bottom lip and teasing his tongue over it.

Chichiri opened his mouth, sliding his tongue back into Tasuki's mouth, now rubbing his fingers over the nipples.  A soft cry escaped Tasuki with each squeeze, shivers racing through his body as he arched and struggled to keep the kiss.

Chichiri slid one hand down to trail a soft line the length of his side to his hip and back again.  He grinned playfully, a laugh escaping as Tasuki squirmed.  He then replaced his lips, lower this time, kissing Tasuki's collarbone and then lower to lock his lips onto a hardened nub.  Tasuki moaned as he tangled his hands in the fine azure locks of his lover, his own head pressing back against the pillow.

"Chichiri…"

The monk groaned softly in the back of his throat as he worked on the body below him.  The tip of his tongue traced wet circles around the peaked nub and then he rewarded him with another gentle suckle even as his tongue never stilled against the sensitive bit of flesh trapped between his lips and teeth.  Tasuki groaned again, but it became a higher sound, almost to the point of a whine.

Chichiri let his hands wander over Tasuki's body as he leaned back up for another kiss before drawing away to wiggle out of his shirt and fling it away along with his kesa.  Tasuki tugged him down to kiss his lover again while the monk nestled one knee between Tasuki's legs and pressed up against his groin.

"Tasuki…" he breathed.  "Koi…"

The bandit groaned as Chichiri continued to apply that pressure, moving his hips to rock against the knee.  "Say that again," he panted.

Chichiri shivered, kissing him deeply, almost urgently, twining their tongues together. A fingertip trailed softly along the ridges of the younger man's ear as he ardently rubbed his knee to increase the pressure.

"Mmmm…  Koi…"

Tasuki groaned loudly, biting back a cry as he continued to rock against his lover's leg, the sensation heightening his arousal.  He slid one hand up to cup Chichiri cheek and caressed it softly while the other one played with his nipple.  The monk fairly whimpered, slowly coaxing his way out of the kiss.

"Tasuki…  I need you…"

The bandit gave off a low ragged sound, nodding slightly.  "I… I need you too…  So much…"

Chichiri let one hand slide down until it came to rest between his lover's legs.  Tasuki jerked his hips a little at the touch, as he tried to get him to do more.  He leaned forward and ran his tongue over Tasuki's bottom lip as his hands idly freed the drawstring holding the bandit's up, palms gliding over his hips as he nudged the pale fabric down and away. 

Tasuki grinned and lifted his hands to return the favor, untying and slipping off the green linen.  Chichiri reached down to trail a soft caress up his lover's length as he suckled suggestively on the bandit's tongue.  Tasuki bit back a cry and changed it to a high wail of pure arousal, his hands moving along the monk's back to cup his ass, hips rising at the same time to seek more of that touch.

Chichiri grasped his shaft in response, nibbling at his neck as he started to stroke him slowly, basking in the cries of pleasure he was causing in the younger man.  Tasuki threw his head back, panting hard and his hips twitching, trying to get his lover to increase the pace, his entire body trembling and sweating with his eagerness.  Chichiri carefully eased himself out of Tasuki's grip, sliding down the bed.  

He sank down, pushing the bandit's legs apart and began duplicate the movement of his hand, only now with his tongue.  Tasuki forgot to breathe for a second before biting down on a howl, instead throwing his head back as he gasped for breath, his hands going to rest on top of Chichiri's head.  His entire frame was shaking with shivers from the sensations rushing through him and it took every ounce of concentration not to thrust up into that pleasurable moist heat.

Chichiri's eye closed as he moaned, one hand moving to caress the swollen sacs at the base of the shaft, then giving the head a lick before taking it back into the warmth of his mouth, accepting him with surprising ease.  The bandit's hips only bucked slightly against Chichiri's hands, his teeth bared as he tried not to come too soon.  The monk's tongue continued to swirl along the length, occasionally finding that little slit at the tip.

Tasuki's breath was coming in short gasps, some of them sounding like the beginning of Chichiri's name.  The cerulean-haired seishi knew that his lover was nearing release, as he could taste the evidence forming at the tip.

"Chi… Chiri… Chi…" Tasuki gasped as he squeezed his eyes shut.  "'M gonna… 'M gonna…"

The older man didn't bother with a verbal response; instead he moved one hand to gently probe at the tight opening below with his fingers, tenderly exploring the firm ring of muscle.  That added touch was all Tasuki needed as he arched up suddenly as an orgasm overtook his body, screaming out Chichiri's name.

Slowly his mind drifted back down to rejoin his body. He was tired but he still managed to lift his head up and grin at his lover, elevating one hand to tenderly trace his cheek.

"K-koi, ai shiteru…"

Chichiri lifted his head, one hand moving to wipe the corner of his mouth, more than a bit flushed.  He slowly climbed back up over his young lover to kiss him gently.   "You certainly are quite loud, na no da."

Tasuki sniggered softly.  "You don't have much room to complain, do ya?"

"Hai."  Chichiri touched noses with him as he grinned.  

Tasuki's arms snapped up suddenly and pulled Chichiri down atop him, nuzzling his neck lightly.  "But I do believe it's your turn now, koi."

"Is that an proposition, no da?"

"If you want it to be."  With that, he twisted out of the embrace and leaned over to the nearby table where a small bottle sat.   Chichiri leaned back on his elbows, his head resting on one shoulder and watching as Tasuki pulled the cork from the top with his teeth and poured some of the ointment into his left hand. 

Keeping his gaze locked on that of his lover's, he set the bottle aside and placed his free hand on Chichiri's thigh as he edged closer.  "By the gods, Chiri, you're so perfect."

The monk colored as the hand continued to move higher and he gnawed on his bottom lip.  "Iya.  I'm far from perfect, no da."

"You think I'm kidding?"  He smiled softly and leaned in to place a tender kiss on his stomach, using his tongue to dip into the indentation of his bellybutton.  "Suzaku achieved perfection with you, koi."

Chichiri inhaled a shaking breath, trying frantically not to cry.  Tasuki sat up and kissed him lightly along the edge of the scar, causing the monk's resolve to break and the tears to spill from his closed eye.  Chichiri turned his face to burrow against his love's shoulder as he cried silently, Tasuki's free arm sliding around to his back in a gesture that was meant to be soothing and empathetic.  The bandit felt his own tears forming as the smaller man wiped his tears in his hair.

Chichiri lifted his head and breathed softly against his ear, "Tasuki, onegai."

The bandit nodded wordlessly and, taking his left hand, gently grasped his lover's shaft.  Chichiri forced himself to sit up, his breathing erratic as his eyes became glued to the motions of the bandit's left hand as he prepared him, going from semi-hard to painfully erect in a matter of moments.

The movements were slow and sensual at first as the bandit worked the monk, but then his hand slowly gained speed as he pumped his organ.  Chichiri's voice was deep and husky when he finally spoke, watching Tasuki through damp strands of cerulean silk and trying very hard not to give in and thrust his hips against that pressure.

"Tasuki…" he warned the words caught in his throat.   When the younger man finally met his gaze, his eyes were heavy-lidded, filled with lust and love.

Then Tasuki's hand drew away and he shifted over to stretch out beside his lover.  The bandit was on his stomach and Chichiri crawled over to place a gentle kiss at the base of his lover's spine before his hands moved to the younger man's waist. The monk slowly propped him up until his was on his knees, lovingly caressing the backs of his thighs and making him shiver in anticipation.  

Only after feeling the effects of his own teasing did Chichiri find himself truly ready.  He was still breathing hard even as he positioned himself.  Tasuki held his own breath as his love pressed intimately against him, trusting Chichiri wholly.

Then the older man's flesh slowly began to penetrate him.  Tasuki groaned with pleasure and pain as the monk slowly eased himself into the tight opening, reeling with pleasure and parting his legs further apart to allow him better penetration.

The bandit then cried out softly as Chichiri's organ nudged his desire deep within him.  He pushed back against him in response, his ecstasy clear.

"Ha…Harder…" he gasped, his eyes shut tight in pleasure, his hands grasping at his sheets in desperation.

Chichiri couldn't help but comply, his own pleasure rising at the feel of being inside of the man he loved, the bandit being wonderfully tight.  His chest heaved in an attempt to catch his breath as he pushed back into the tight heat with a moan.  He then leaned forward and allowed his right hand creep beneath the bandit to cup his organ.  How much more wonderful this was once he had accepted how he truly felt about Tasuki!  What a fool he had been to want to deny these feelings and this wonderful pleasure!

Tasuki squeezed his eyes shut and arched back against Chichiri, forcing his thrust to go harder, as their hips found the desired rhythm.  The bandit felt as if he would die, as he absolutely could not keep his eyes open as his body was flooded with sensations.  The sweet pressure building in his groin was growing stronger with each stroke.  He drove back against Chichiri, his brain in disarray as they moved against each other faster, pushing harder.

The older man's motions slowed for one glorious moment before he reached his peak, then he suddenly slammed back into the younger man with an anguished cry as he felt the hot liquid spill out of him.  The feel of the warm release of his lover tipped the fiery-haired bandit over the edge as he too attained his orgasm.  He pushed back hard against his partner and Chichiri's hand massaged his length before it was over.

With a whimper, Tasuki came violently into the hand working him, his entire body shuddering with fulfillment.  After driving out the last bit of climax within them, both collapsed with heavy breathing onto the bed.

For a while, neither of them said anything as they sought to catch their breaths, both relishing in the aftershocks of the intense experience of just a few moments ago.  Chichiri managed a slight smile as he slipped out from his lover's body and Tasuki shifted to gaze up at him.  The bandit reached out and put an arm around the older man, pulling him into an embrace as he tugged a blanket over their sweaty bodies.

Tasuki smiled as well as he locked gazes with that single mahogany eye.  When he spoke, his voice was heavy with sleep.  "Chichiri…?"

"Hai, no da?"

"How do ya feel?"

There was a brief pause and then a sigh of gratification.  "Like I'm complete, na no da…"

"Ai shiteru, Chiri…" he assured the older man as he hugged him.

Chichiri looked back at him, his eye bright with trust.  "Arigatou…"

Tasuki raised an eyebrow.

"…For giving me a second chance, no da…" he explained.

The bandit smirked.  "It wasn't like this took some effort…"

"I know…but it was your choice.  I didn't mean to hurt you like that…"

Tasuki laughed and hugged him tighter.  "Just forget about it, koi.  My only concern was how I was going to keep it down the next time I saw ya…" He yawned as Chichiri blushed.

Within moments, the bandit was fast asleep.  Chichiri nestled his head against his lover's chest and felt himself slipping away, lulled by the steady pulse of the younger man.

"Ai shiteru…"


End file.
